When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. -1 Corinthians 13:11 NIV

It seems like just yesterday I was in school, living at home, working part-time, fighting with my siblings, and enjoying a somewhat care-free lifestyle. I used to think after I graduated college I would have more time on my hands for the things that I enjoy. However, it seems like I have been going full speed ahead since graduating. It’s crazy to think that I turned 30 years old this month because I still feel like my younger self, just a little wiser. Over the past 10 years I have experienced and gone through so much and I wanted to share some of my good memories from my 20s with everyone. 

One of my first memories from my 20s was traveling out of the country for the first time on a study abroad. It opened my eyes to a whole other world and would change my outlook on life forever. I was hesitant to go on the trip because the guy I was seeing at the time did not want me to go. My mom, however, encouraged me to go, reminding me that I may not get an opportunity like that again. I’m so glad that I went on that study abroad in 2009 because it gave me a new perspective about what I wanted out of life.

Some of my not so favorite memories include partying and drinking a lot, staying up until 4:00 a.m. and then waking up to attend classes the next day. Thinking back to it, I’m not really sure how I managed that and I often wonder why I was so driven. 

All and all, there were good and bad times in my 20s, but I like to focus and remember the positive things. One of my happiest moments was when Griffin proposed to me at the Pantheon in Italy. It was so surreal and a memory I will cherish forever. What you don’t know is that I never wanted to get married. I saw first hand what divorce does to families and I never wanted that. However, God had different plans for me and brought me the perfect person to do life with.

With all the things that happened over the past 10 years some of my favorite memories came from traveling the world with Griffin. We’ve seen some amazing places together and traveled to Italy, England, France, the Netherlands, Ireland, Scotland and Japan. We’ve also traveled around the U.S visiting Washington D.C., Savannah, Atlanta, Asheville, Charleston, Portland, Seattle, Las Vegas, Orlando, Tampa, Chicago, Austin, San Antonio, Beaufort, and Panama City.

Now here I am, sitting in our second home reflecting on how great God is. All of these experiences I had were because of God. He loves and cares for me so much that he gave me these amazing opportunities in life.  Over the years, God has shown me that I am loved and perfect just how I am. I’m excited for the future because Griffin and I have so much planned for the years to come. I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on something positive in your life. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

The post Another Year Goes By appeared first on Angela Van Winkle.

This past weekend I ventured out on my own and attended the Bethel Music Wild Love Event, in Jacksonville, Florida. I was so pleasantly overwhelmed by just how excited everyone was to be worshiping God. No one cared what everyone else thought of them and it was quite amazing. We were all there seeking the same thing…to have an encounter with God. I wanted to jump, shout and just worship God, but my mind was holding me back. I kept having thoughts like, “did I do that right, do I look silly dancing around, what do people think of me.” What’s even funnier is how quick people are to jump and shout at concerts while listening to their favorite band. I’m guilty of this too. Yet, when it comes to worshipping our creator, we just stand there at church.

“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”
Galatians 1:10 NLT

It was an eye opening experience for me. The second night of the event, I too was jumping, shouting and raising my hands. That night, I had so much fun and I experienced God’s presence more than ever. I declared that I would not care so much about what people think of me because I do not live to please people. That feels amazing to say!

Everyday I will strive to show my gratitude to God. My identity is no longer in what people think of me, but rather in who God says I am. It’s okay to honor and help people, but we need to stop caring so much about what the world thinks of us. I know without a shadow of doubt that those worldly labels will start to fade away as you start believing in the things God says about you.

I’ll end this post with one of my favorites from Bethel Music! It’s so good!

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I used to think that the closer you got to God, the easier life became. When in reality, life doesn’t get easier. The closer you get to God, the more distractions you experience. I like how 1 Peter 5:8-11 says it, “8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

We all experience trials and hardships in life, but it’s important to remain firm and strong in the Lord. How do we do that? By praying and reading His Word! Sometimes that’s easier said than done. I find that just spending a few minutes in the morning praying and reading one verse helps. I ask God to speak to me and give me peace for that day. It helps give me hope that I can get through whatever situation I’m experiencing.

Sometimes even just listening to worship music can help lift my spirits. Just today on my way home from work this song called “Breathe,” came on:

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to take it in, fill your lungs
The peace of God that overcomes
Just breathe (just breathe)
let your weary spirit rest
Lay down what’s good and find what’s best
Just breathe (just breathe)

I love this, “Breathe, just breathe, come and rest at my feet and be, just be.” I encourage you to take a moment out of your busy schedules, push the distractions aside, breathe and have a moment with God. I’m thankful for just one more day because I know I am not guaranteed tomorrow.  Today, I’m believing and praying for peace, clarity and wisdom in your situation. Amen and thank you for reading!

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As I write this I think of just how intentional God is in everything He has set into motion in my life. From the people I meet to the experiences I have. Even when I question and doubt myself, I know that there’s this vision that’s bigger than I can even imagine. The closer I get to God and the more I align my thoughts with His, the more I see just how intentional He is.

It reminds me of how I recently started serving on the prayer team. I know I am meant to be on that team, but praying over someone is not something that comes naturally for me.  It has nothing to do with the person, but rather to do with my doubt. The first time I prayed over someone on the team my mind started running wild. It’s funny how in just a matter of seconds, I convinced myself, “I shouldn’t do this,” “I don’t say the right things,” “this person needs someone who is better at praying.” The negative thoughts ran rampart! It’s really crazy how powerful a mind can be!

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10

I recognized that my perspective needed to change and I started speaking words of encouragement to myself. I then began seeing this adversity as a sign that I am on the right path.

I am outside of my comfort zone, but I know that this is where God wants me. I also know I am being harder on myself than I should and this isn’t about me. I’ll admit I’m struggling, but I’m continuing to face my fears and live out my life in an uncomfortable place.

I encourage you to not let fear hold you back from that thing God is calling you to do. All it takes is that one step of faith, that one step in the direction He is calling you towards. I know life throws curveballs, but you got this. You can and you will persevere. I believe it and you should too!

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Ultimately, I think I was trying to fill a void in my life with a man. As I got older my identity started to get wrapped up in how well I was performing in work and in school. If I didn’t get all A’s, I felt like a failure.  This mindset can be attributed somewhat to my mother, who always encouraged and pushed me to make something of myself. As a single mom of 5 kids at the time, she knew what it was like to struggle to make ends meet and she wanted more for her children.

I’m happy that she pushed and encouraged me because I wouldn’t be where I am without her. However, I did start this cycle of defining who I was by my performance and never realized that God wanted me to seek him for affirmation. So what exactly changed last year that made me start seeing my identity and self-worth in Christ?

Jesus replied, “If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me.” – John 8:54

Well, I was sitting with a good friend one night just sharing my story. She encouraged me to read a section about identity in this leadership book called “Leadership that Builds People” by Dr. James B. Richards. What’s crazy is I didn’t even realize I had identity issues because it was so embedded in who I was. In the book, I read about anyone who does not have a Bible-based self worth will use others to build themselves up, which is exactly what I had been doing all these years. To feel like I had self-worth I sought the approval from people.

Finding my identity and self-worth in God has been a struggle, 28 years of my life has been wrapped up in a false identity. In 2017, I started reading and believing in the things God says about me in His Word. Some of these things include:

• I am His daughter
• I am perfectly and wonderfully made
• I have strength in Him
• God will never leave nor forsake me

So what can you do to start finding your identity? I would encourage you to start reading, praying and meditating on the Word of God. I started by downloading the bible app and reading and meditating on the daily verse. I also only listen to Christian radio stations. It’s really great in the mornings especially because 91.7 in Jacksonville has sermons playing and I always ask God to speak to me while listening to them! I hope this was encouraging and I can’t wait for what 2018 will bring!

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In 2013, I decided to get more involved with the church by attending my first sisterhood group. I needed this group because I wanted to be connected with other christian women. In 2014, I began serving at sisterhood because I believed in the groups so much. That same year, I became a co-leader and helped to lead a group of woman at the church. I also started and led a bible study with a few close friends. I longed to be connected and to belong and my hope was for the women I led to to feel the same.

After helping to lead that semester, life started happening and I started feeling like I wasn’t really making a difference. Things were changing at the church and I slowly strayed away from the group and from church in general. Towards the end of 2016, I began searching for another small group to get involved with. I knew it was important to connect with people for accountability. However, every group I looked up just didn’t feel right. It’s funny how God works because around this same time I received a message on Facebook from someone I met at sisterhood in 2014. She was starting a group study on a book called Present over Perfect. At that time in my life, it was exactly what I was looking for.

It took me a while to open up, but eventually I started getting more involved with their church, praying more and reading my bible more. One night in early 2016, my husband and I were walking around the neighborhood and I told him I felt like God was calling me to lead women. There wasn’t really a defining moment that it happened. It’s just this overwhelming sense I got inside of me over the course of a few months. The closer I got to God, the harder it was to be happy with what I was doing in my career. I just knew there was more to life than a 9-5 job. I had this fire ignited inside of me and I wanted more.

After talking with my husband about this, the very next day the girl who invited me to that small group met with me to ask me to lead the women of their small church. She was in prayer and God put me on her heart. She had no idea that I had literally just voiced that I wanted to be leading women to my husband. Coincidence? I think not! It was God preparing the way.

I was super excited, but also very nervous and had doubts about myself. Some thoughts I had at the time included:

• Why me
• I’m an introvert and could never be a leader
• I’m not good enough

The list could go on and on. My whole life I’ve been a people pleaser, but I knew I had to say yes. It’s like I said in my post about tithing; God will give you the opportunities, but it’s up to you to act on them. I was being obedient to my call by saying yes. I knew if I could do this, God would provide me the courage and confidence. He called me and I had faith that he would support me. During this season with this church, I learned so much about myself.

There were a lot of firsts that happened at this church. For me, 2016 was a year of spiritual growth and understanding my identity in Christ.

This period of growth was not easy and was uncomfortable at times. I knew I needed to say yes, but there were times I didn’t want to. However, there was something inside of me that just said to keep going. I know that growth comes from being uncomfortable and no one ever grows by staying in their comfort zone.

Right now I don’t know what the future holds. I know that my calling to lead and help women has been revealed to me, but honestly I don’t know to what extent. I can’t say that I have all the answers, but I can say that if you put your trust and faith in God, He will prepare the way for you.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

As I write this, I’m thinking about what’s in store for 2018. This has been an uncomfortable season for me because I’ve had to say no to an amazing career opportunity. I’ve started voicing my call to ministry to people and it’s becoming real. My goal is to live a more purposeful life and for me that means helping people. What does that look like for you?

God desires to reveal your calling to you. If you still are unsure of what your calling is in life, talk to God and ask Him to reveal it to you. When God revealed my calling to me, it wasn’t through an audible voice. It was through church podcasts, serving and reading my bible. I encourage you to start tuning in to the world around you. Listen and look for little signs from God and remember this verse from Deuteronomy 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

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My husband, on the other hand, was the opposite of me. He was always taught to give your first 10% to the Lord. It wasn’t until 2016, that I realized how much God was blessing him. My husband kept moving up quickly at his job, getting big bonuses, raises, etc. When I saw this, I knew I needed to trust God with my tithe. I thought to myself, “What do I have to lose, God is faithful and he has never let me down before.” That summer, I started giving 10%, without expecting anything in return. I thought, “Okay, God, I’m going to fully trust you with my tithe.”

I didn’t think about the amount I was giving, I just gave it. I knew I wouldn’t be where I am today without Him, so why not trust Him! The first blessing from tithing came just a few months later. My husband and I were starting to pay for our wedding, when a good friend of mine gave me card at work. As I read the card, I read that she had paid for a huge part of our wedding. I was in shock and in tears, but also just so thankful.

God was blessing me through my friend because of my faithfulness. How did I know it was God? I can’t explain it…I just knew. My friend told me she had been praying and God laid on her heart to help me pay for part of my wedding. She felt that I had blessed her in a different way and she wanted to return the favor. Doesn’t God work in amazing ways?!

All of 2016 and 2017 I tithed 10% and in October 2016 I landed a better paying job. I knew God was getting me out of a bad work situation and He was blessing me. It was also around this time that God revealed to me my calling. And as much as I want to talk about that calling right now, this post is just going to be about tithing.

So fast forward to March 2017, I was laid off that “better paying job” with 3-months severance pay. What does this have to do with tithing? Well, when I was laid off, I knew God was preparing a way for me to live out my calling and that He would provide for my family.

Of course, it never fails that life immediately started throwing curveballs. My husband and I started getting all kinds of bills in the mail and it was stressful. I wanted to take time off work, but honestly with all the bills, 3-months severance pay wasn’t going to be enough for us to feel comfortable with me doing that. Little did I know, but God was working that out too.

My manager at the time felt terrible that I was let go so quickly and wanted to help. She sent my resume out to two places. I prayed about what to do and I felt at peace with the decision to work at the 6-month contract position. And here’s where the tithing comes back in… The money I would be making in six months would be about the same as what I made in a year at the “better paying job.” It was really unbelievably to me, but I knew this was God. Not only did I now have 3-months of severance pay, but also had an even better paying job. On top of all this, God was also growing my freelance business.

I know that 2017 was the year of reaping from what I sowed in 2016 and 2017. I’m excited for what 2018 has in store for me because I know in my heart that God gave me these opportunities. 2018 will be a year of spiritual and leadership growth and because I walked out in faith back in 2016, I now have 3 times more in my savings account.

Why do I tell you all of this? Because I want to encourage you to take that leap of faith. There may be something you are struggling with and God is telling you to trust Him. God will provide you with everything that you need, but you also have to take action on those opportunities He gives you. When I think about having faith, I think about this verse from Matthew 17:20 “…Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” As I’m writing this I’m thinking about areas right now that God wants me to walk out in faith. Maybe God has spoken something to you or you feel a nudge to do something. Don’t ignore that “thing.” Instead, walk out in faith and remember you’ve got this!

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