Today I want to talk about finding your identity in Christ and what that journey has looked like for me. I actually didn’t realize I had identity issues until last year. Growing up I never felt good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, you name it. I often wondered why I was even alive and sometimes wished God would just take me away. I was angry at the world, had low-esteem and absolutely no confidence. I sought out affirmation in guys because I never felt good enough. I remember always talking to boys, writing notes to them and even having a boyfriend at 5 years old. Maybe it was innocent, but it’s something that carried into my middle and high school years.
Ultimately, I think I was trying to fill a void in my life with a man. As I got older my identity started to get wrapped up in how well I was performing in work and in school. If I didn’t get all A’s, I felt like a failure. This mindset can be attributed somewhat to my mother, who always encouraged and pushed me to make something of myself. As a single mom of 5 kids at the time, she knew what it was like to struggle to make ends meet and she wanted more for her children.
I’m happy that she pushed and encouraged me because I wouldn’t be where I am without her. However, I did start this cycle of defining who I was by my performance and never realized that God wanted me to seek him for affirmation. So what exactly changed last year that made me start seeing my identity and self-worth in Christ?
Jesus replied, “If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me.” – John 8:54
Well, I was sitting with a good friend one night just sharing my story. She encouraged me to read a section about identity in this leadership book called “Leadership that Builds People” by Dr. James B. Richards. What’s crazy is I didn’t even realize I had identity issues because it was so embedded in who I was. In the book, I read about anyone who does not have a Bible-based self worth will use others to build themselves up, which is exactly what I had been doing all these years. To feel like I had self-worth I sought the approval from people.
Finding my identity and self-worth in God has been a struggle, 28 years of my life has been wrapped up in a false identity. In 2017, I started reading and believing in the things God says about me in His Word. Some of these things include:
- I am His daughter
- I am perfectly and wonderfully made
- I have strength in Him
- God will never leave nor forsake me
So what can you do to start finding your identity? I would encourage you to start reading, praying and meditating on the Word of God. I started by downloading the bible app and reading and meditating on the daily verse. I also only listen to Christian radio stations. It’s really great in the mornings especially because 91.7 in Jacksonville has sermons playing and I always ask God to speak to me while listening to them! I hope this was encouraging and I can’t wait for what 2018 will bring!
